Lately I’ve been feeling lonely. The reality of my singleness is kicking in and honestly, I don’t like it. I desire male companionship but I know I need this time alone to heal and get to know me. Therein lies the struggle of wanting versus needing. I want the man best compatible for me right now, but I need to be alone right now. Internally it feels like a tug-o-war is taking place. Today I’m tired of the struggle and tired of fighting, but I have to keep pushing through.
This morning I listened to the sermon my pastor preached from Sunday called “God On Trial.” He pointed out examples in the Bible where people questioned God about their situations. They wondered why they had to go through the pain; how long they had to stay in the fire; and where was God in it all? Those questions resonated with me because I’m like Lord how long do I have to endure this struggle? I’m tired of fighting. But my pastor explained that no matter what we go through, God sees us. God sees me. He’s paying attention to me. He never takes His eyes off me. The attention I crave from a man doesn’t compare to how attentive God is. He sees me. So if He sees the struggle I’m in that means He’s allowing it for a purpose. So I have to keep fighting through because He’s up to something. He’s up to something good. He wouldn’t allow me to go through this if there wasn’t a reason for it, so I must hold on.
Today, I encourage you, as I encourage myself, to just hold on. I know it’s hard. I know you’re tired of the struggle. I know you’re tired of being alone and crying yourself to sleep. I know you’re tired of the urges to call your ex, just to find comfort and relief. I understand what you’re going through because I’m there too. But there’s purpose in this, so just continue to hold on. Be encouraged by Hebrews 10:36, “Patient endurance is what you need now, so that you will continue to do God’s will. Then you will receive all that he has promised.” Hold on my sister, just hold on.