“I did this for you so I could see you smile and see you happy.” That’s what I told myself today after an amazing day trip to NYC.
I remember the day I made the decision to go. I was at work and an email popped up in my inbox about a bus trip to NYC to see the Rockettes. Something within me leaped as soon as I saw the flyer. Prior to that I had made a commitment to myself to start honoring and taking care of me. So when I reacted with excitement to the flyer, I knew that was the little girl in me saying she wanted to go. I listened to her and bought the ticket. Instantly tears came to my eyes because finally I was honoring what she wanted and needed.
This morning I woke up early to make sure I gave myself enough time to get dressed, cook breakfast (another way of honoring myself), and get to the bus. I felt a sense of peace as I drove to the meeting location. However, something shifted once I got there and boarded the bus. I started to notice people boarding with their family, friends, or significant other. I was the only one who came alone. At first there was an empty seat next to me so the lady across the aisle asked if I was waiting for someone. I said no, and then I felt my heart sank. I was alone. I began to regret my decision to not find someone else to go with me. A “Me Trip” sounded like fun in concept but in reality, I had to deal with the feeling of being by myself. My mind was headed down the path of regret, judgment, and sadness but then I reflected back to why I made the decision in the first place….to honor ME. That meant it didn’t matter what the other people on the bus chose to do; All that mattered was that I was doing what I wanted and needed to do for ME. That perspective pulled me out of the emotional valley I was about to wallow in.
I mapped out my plans during the bus ride so I could hit the ground running when I got there. I started to think of all the things I could do during the four hour timeframe we had before the show started. I felt the excitement return. When we got to NYC I got off the bus and began my journey with excitement and adventure in my eyes. My first stop was the Rockefeller Tower so I could go to the top floor and see the whole city. It was beautiful. I took pictures and relished in the moment that I was actually on a trip, by myself, doing what I wanted to do.
I left the tower and just walked around 50th Ave. I noticed a TGI Friday’s on the corner of 50th Ave and 7th Ave so I stopped to get lunch. When I walked in I asked the host for a table for one and he suggested I sit at the bar. I thought to myself, “No! I am having a day of honoring myself so I want a table!” I didn’t share those thoughts with the host, I just politely asked again for a table and he pointed to one that was available by the window. So I sat down without a care in the world and watched the people walking down 7th Ave. I noticed a billboard across the street that read “Find Your Happy”. That’s exactly what I was doing! I ordered what I wanted and ate in peace.
After lunch I had about two hours to spare so I decided to walk through Times Square to the Macy’s. I heard it was the largest one in the world so I wanted to see what the hype was about. It was on 34th Ave, but I figured after eating that would be a good way to work off the food. Lol. I walked down the sidewalk like I belonged. The confidence and strength that exuded from me was empowering!
When I got to the Macy’s I was in awe. I had never seen anything like it! It looked like a mall but it was all one huge store! Each department had its own suite that you could walk into. And as I took the escalator I realized there were 9 floors in the store! 9! I was in complete amazement! It was too exciting and overwhelming to actually shop, but I thoroughly enjoyed the experience.
After being amazed at the Macy’s store, it was time for me to go see the Rockettes show. I walked back to 50th Ave and headed to the Radio City Music Hall. The line was super long but it moved pretty quickly. The inside of the venue was beautiful! I admired the decor as I made my way to the 2nd Mezzanine level. I got to my seat and the orchestra was playing Christmas music. I could feel the little girl in me rising up. When the show started I could barely contain my excitement! The dancing. The singing. The colors. The precision. The storyline. The brown girls in the show. Everything about the experience brought me so much joy! When the show was over I couldn’t stop smiling.
When we got to the bus I reminisced on the day and how much fun I had with ME! I was smiling from ear to ear, not because a man had did it, but because I had planned a whole day just for me! Then the thought came, “I did this for you so I could see you smile and see you happy.” What a beautiful feeling to know that I can bring that kind of joy to myself. That I could care for the little girl within and let her be free. That I could be at peace and one with ME! Ahhhh…nothing else compared. I thanked God in the moment and just looked out the window and smiled. Today was truly a beautiful day.
~Shavon Carter, The YOU Relationship Coach