A Heart of Surrender

There’s safety in not knowing. There’s security in not having it all figured out. I see that now. I’m in a posture of surrender and I’ve given it all to God. Everything. I’ve adopted the mindset that I know nothing. I’m not in control. I can’t do it alone. As much as I wanted to think that I had life all figured out….I don’t. I thought surrendering control would bring me so much anxiety and stress, but it’s actually bringing me peace. I’m finding comfort in The One who knows all and believing that He has it. I trust Him….

I used to speak with my words that I trusted Him, meanwhile my heart was singing a different tune. I would let go for a second, only to find my hands right back on the driver’s wheel of life. I thought I knew better than Him. I didn’t. I thought He needed my help. He didn’t. I thought that if I kept pushing my agenda, everything would go as I planned. I was wrong. I ran my plan and crashed so much until one day I came to the end of myself and decided that enough was enough. I was fighting against a power much greater than I. It was time to surrender and submit….

So here I am, in a posture of humility, submitting to God’s ways and plans. My heart is being transformed and my life is changing before my eyes. I can imagine Him saying, “finally my child, you’ve given it to me….”

It was my heart that He wanted. I surrender all….

~Shavon Carter, The YOU Relationship Coach

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The Art of Conversation

What happened to the art of conversation? Why are we so in a rush to get somewhere with our words? What happened to playful banter, mentally stimulating dialogue, and creative approaches to getting to know one another? How did we get stuck on the surface level, settling for connections void of depth and true meaning? Perhaps it’s because somewhere along the way we got comfortable with not requiring it. We resolved that hiding our true selves, clinging to familiar ways of relating, or going with the status quo was just how it was supposed to be. We rationalized that our soul’s desire for deeper connection and intimacy was unrealistic. But at the core of our being, there was a cry for something more.

My soul is crying out for that something more so I’m starting with me. Exploring the inner parts of me without judgment to heal and liberate what’s been hidden and unlock the true essence of me. Having those deep conversations with self that invoke a greater level of understanding and awareness of who I am and was created to be. If I want a deeper experience of relating to others, I can start with enriching the experiences I have with myself. There is depth and range to me and I desire to explore every part. As my friend Shi Hutchinson said in a recent conversation, we can create the type of experience we have with others when we practice it with ourselves. We can be vulnerable, transparent and honest in conversations with others when we’ve gone there with ourselves.

So the moral of this story is, we can get get back to the heart of having meaningful conversations with others when we’re willing to go there with ourselves. If you’re looking for a deeper connection, start with you then go out and practice it in the world.

~Shavon Carter, The YOU Relationship Coach

Perfect Harmony

Harmony…”the simultaneous combination of tones, especially when blended into chords pleasing to the ear; a consistent, orderly, or pleasing arrangement of parts; congruity.”

My body is rejecting everything that doesn’t align with its design and purpose. It’s cleansing. It’s healing. It’s guiding me to authenticity and truth. It’s working together to create perfect Harmony.

I feel so FREE! Free to be Me! Free to follow the desires of my heart and where it leads me. Free to be me, unapologetically and unashamed. My destiny is stamped. My path is secure. Not even I can stop my life’s trajectory. It’s truly all in my Father’s hands. Knowing that I’m covered in such a divine way is liberating! He’s truly the God of 1st, 2nd, 3rd, 4th, and nth chances.

I can relax in the comfort of knowing that He’s truly guiding me. There’s security on this journey and for that I am eternally grateful. I am flowing in perfect Harmony. All is well with the world.

~Shavon Carter, The YOU Relationship Coach

I’ll know it when…

I hate going shopping. I don’t have the patience for it. I don’t have time to slow walk through the aisles perusing all the clothes on the rack, just to find the perfect outfit. Instead, I’d rather walk in the store, quickly survey everything in the room and wait for that something to catch my eye. If it doesn’t, I leave and go to the next store. In my mind, I don’t have to spend hours in the mall because I know what I’m looking for and will recognize it when I see it. With that approach, I’m in and out in no time without buying things I had no intentions of getting. As a result, I save time, energy and money.

I’ll know it when I see it….If only I could take that same approach when dating. Just like with the stores, I have an idea of what I truly desire in a man. I can’t quite put it into words, but I believe I’ll recognize him when I meet him. Although I know this to be true cognitively, I still find myself lingering with people who I know aren’t “him.” Similar to shopping, when I meet a guy I can discern pretty quickly that he’s not for me. Yet I still engage and entertain him, only to find out later that I’ve expended unnecessary time, energy, and heart space on someone that I really wasn’t meant to go past an initial conversation with.

I’ll know it when I see it…Waiting for “him” requires courage and strength to sacrifice what may look or feel good in the moment, in exchange for something deeper, meaningful, and long lasting. Otherwise I continue on a cycle of temporary satisfaction and lose out on permanent fulfillment. Expending energy in an unfruitful situation can be exhausting. It’s like releasing pointless breaths or traveling with no destination. It wears you out and makes the journey tiring. But when I take the time to listen to the voice within and follow my instincts, I’m guided right where I need to be.

My quest for 2018 is to be still and listen, so I can be guided into exactly where I need to be. Life is a journey and filled with discovering wonderful things about self. I just have to trust myself and continue to believe that I’ll know him when I see him. And in the meantime, move in and out of things quickly because time is of the essence.

~Shavon Carter, The YOU Relationship Coach